A Wedding Proposal

By Adamu Adamu

(This was first published by the DailyTrust Newspaper on January 4, 2014. The article followed the multiples of wedding events that occurred on December 28, 2013. Given that it is another December and wedding invitations are already in the air signalling a repeat of what happened that year, the Editor thought it right to reproduce here the article. Do have a nice time reading.)

Last Saturday, I had more than fifteen invitations to wedding ceremonies taking place on the same date at almost the same time in six different towns. It has in fact become a regular fact of current living that there is hardly any weekend without a multiplicity of invitations to weddings or to naming ceremonies. Many people now do more work during the weekend—driving, attending, witnessing, donating and feasting—than they do during week days.

And so regularly do these invitations come that for those who wish to accept them, especially if they have to drive to do so, the invitations defeat the logic behind a no-work weekend on which workers are supposed to wind down after a strenuous, five-day, 40-hour working week. And in any case, it will be impossible for anyone to attend so many functions at the same time in so many different places. Clearly, this is not sustainable: you cannot attend ten functions every weekend; and if you can decide to refuse to attend some, you can decide not to attend any—and do something better for all.

Before the subtle bureaucratisation of the wedding culture marriages used to be solemnised on Thursday afternoons. But all this was to change with the rise of the bureaucracy and its work free Saturdays, the rise in the number of university graduates in the region, the development of pan-regional friendships, the rise in inter-ethnic marriages, the rise of the old-boy network, the creation of states, the ease of communications, the development of road networks and, now, the rise of tokunbo.

Now, if the groom is Kanuri, the bride may be Nupe, the two having been classmates in ABU, Zaria or the groom is a bank worker in Lafiagi. Or the bride may be from Kogi, the groom from Adamawa and the best man from Sokoto. And it is all like that all over the place; and when a particular date is fixed, it wouldn’t be known that five other classmates are getting married on the same day in different states. But even if it is known, there are more marriages than there are days in the year.

First of all, having to travel every weekend to weddings can be a waste of precious time. Second of all, and for those having to travel distances in excess of 500 kilometres, it becomes a cause of travel fatigue and toll on health. Third of all, accepting the invitations comes with the possibility of accidents, the probability of armed robberies and other equally fatal dangers.

And it is such a waste of precious resources: because the new family that the wedding is supposed to join in wedlock can do with the fortune that is spent on fuelling vehicles, feeding on the road, repairs after breakdowns and several other travel-related expenses incurred on the way to the wedding; so, instead of travelling and exposing themselves to danger and unnecessary losses, invitees should stay at home and add the cost of fuel, feeding and repairs that they will have spent if they travel to the quantum of gudunmoya, the contribution and wedding presents, that they intend to give the couple.

It is hereby proposed that all Muslim parents and guardians accept to fix subsequent wedding dates for their children and wards only twice in the year—at the times of the two eids—Eid al-Fitr and Eid el-Kabir; and for Christian parents, Christmas and Easter; or, indeed, vice versa, since it is the fact of the holiday not sacrament that is at issue here. Unless it is for the first child getting married or for those who are intimately involved by way of close family ties or ties of best friendship or the people of the bride or the groom, no one outside town should be invited—and any invitations sent to persons out of town should be for information only—not least because those in other towns will also be busy with arrangement for their own wedding ceremonies. Henceforth, marriages should be local affairs—for the people of the town and surrounding villages.

After starting at an experimental level, it should be extended so that at every local government or divisional level, mass weddings should be arranged at these stated times so that people have only two occasions to attend; and on these two occasions all the tens of marriages to which people will have been invited several times during the year will now be solemnised in a one-off ceremony.

The advantages of this type of wedding are so many and so obvious that perhaps they don’t need demonstration: a mass wedding encourages matrimony, which is the greatest institution in the world and which is now under a determined cultural existential attack that enjoys the support of the entire Western modernist tradition; it helps focus attention on the family unit, that circle of love, and the sacredness of its creation and necessity for its perpetuation; it helps make the cost of marrying bearable for the less fortunate members of this society; and it creates an avenue for the wealthy and for the state to encourage and contribute to raising the moral tone of society.

But the objective of mass weddings is not just to cut the travel time of well wishers or even put a man and a woman into legal cohabitation; it is to create a family that becomes a building block for a strong society that is independent and productive.

Through economies of scale, mass weddings can go a long way in helping to mitigate the cost of wedding for the individual needy groom; and the state or local government can help subsidise the whole process by paying the dowry, contributing towards paying rent , the purchase of furniture or accepting to provide—or, better still, augment—start-up family capital.  This intervention should be in the nature of a contribution by society to someone in need of it but who will have, if necessary, shouldered it on his own, but with difficulty. For, if someone cannot pay the dowry or provide the bare basic necessities, it should be feared that he will not be able to support a spouse; and such a person should be helped to get, not a wife but, some work to do—and only marry when he can support a family.

It therefore makes little sense, for instance, to embark on a journey for a wedding, spend 30,000 Naira on the way and give the groom 50,000 Naira when you can stay at home and send him 100,000 Naira—saving yourself manifold dangers, your car wear and tear and making the groom richer at the time he needs to be. While our marriages are not exactly profit-motivated enterprises, and nothing done for love or friendship will ever be wasted or become in vain, we shouldn’t allow this society to become married to practices that are counterproductive.But the mass wedding suggested here is different from the one pioneered by Governor Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso of Kano State for divorcees and widows and emulated by Governor Ibrahim Dankwambo of Gombe State, though it shares all its advantages; and in order to avoid the situations the governors are seeking to remedy, this society must learn to give woman the respect and dignity that God has given her and which she deserves.

However, as this ceremony-addicted, fun-loving society revels in marriage parties and wedding receptions, it cares nothing about the high and easy divorce rate, especially in Hausa society, which claims to follow the Islamic law of marriage. There is nothing Islamic and nothing legal about what is being done to women: the truth is that here women are vulnerable, defenceless and beautiful—and no one is doing anything about these except the last, which is the height of selfishness; but an even bitterer truth is that while Islam has given woman her greatest freedom, Muslims have put her under the worst form of bondage. That is why today the activity they do with the greatest zeal is the marriage ceremony.

This enthusiastic, comprehensive and elaborate nature of the involvement of women, especially our purdah-imprisoned hapless womanhood, in the biki maelstrom is only symptomatic of the closure and denial to them of all other avenues of more productive self-expression by this society. While the get-together and the gift-exchanges do strengthen the bonds of blood and friendship, our womenfolk should be more dignified and held in greater reverence than be restricted to trifles and such inconsequence. Surely, the man hours, and even more especially the woman hours wasted in the wedding process could be put to better cultural and economic use—for the upbringing of children, for instance or for the self-actualisation, the confidence and the independence that come with earning a living.

But even while seeking to ease the difficulties encountered in the effort to tie the knot of holy wedlock, the society must do all it can to protect the sacredness and sanctity of the marriage institution from pollution by the encroachment of the baseless claims of such moral and cultural distortions as the same-sex marriage being promoted by the worldwide, Zionist-inspired homosexual movement, the psychosis that is called single-parenthood and other unsavoury cultural fallouts of the gender nonsense that seeks to create needless, uncreative tension within the family unit. As it does all this, it must keep in mind that culture is dynamic and it is our duty to help change it to make life and living more convenient for everyone—so, everyone should pray for the success of new couples wherever he happens to be. But don’t forget to send the cash.

Letter to Bauchi State Governor

By Mukhtar Jarmajo

Your Excellency may wish to accept my hearty congratulations as you assume the mantle of leadership. It is my hope and prayer that you will succeed in the attempt to reposition Bauchi state to greater heights. Sir, before I delve into the meat of my epistle, let me quickly remind you that whilst it is true that as governor you call the shots in Bauchi, before God however, we are all mere mortals whose fates are in His hands.

As such, Your Excellency should remember that ultimate power belongs to God and He thus has knowledge and control of every affair. It pleases Him to see you governor today not because you are the wisest or most educated person in Bauchi state, but because that was His wish. Remember that whilst it is His wish that you are governor today, He is also testing you as a servant. So as your reign lasts, tamper justice with mercy and seek guidance and wisdom from Him in every matter so you are right in every decision.

As a governor you are by interpretation the state chief executive who is by default the chief accounting and security officer of Bauchi state. Therefore, the safety, well-being and happiness of the entire people of this state rest on Your Excellency as a responsibility. Hence, from you we expect nothing short of commitment and dedication to the Project Bauchi state. We expect Your Excellency to go to every constitutional length and breadth in pursuit of a greater Bauchi state.

It is hoped that Your Excellency will work relentlessly and assiduously in the coming years at the expense of your comfort, health and even popularity just to meet the yearnings and aspirations of Bauchi people. Given this, there is no gainsaying the fact that the task before you is daunting especially with the fact that you inherited a state which immediate past was run much like a private estate. But with determination and a formidable team, I trust no challenge is insurmountable.

Your Excellency, the success of a regime is majorly determined by the tendencies of the people drafted in to give you a helping hand in delivering democratic dividends to the good people of Bauchi state. In simpler terms, the quality of your lieutenants will vehemently determine the extent to which you can meet the yearnings and aspirations of the people.

Given this, when constituting a team, you must make sure it comprises people of experience and proven integrity. They should be people of vast knowledge in government, the society and life generally. Thus at this juncture, I would want to say without any fear of contradiction that your Deputy, Nuhu Gidado is vital to this regime just as Garba Gadi was to the erstwhile Yuguda government.

With him and others yet employed who expectedly will be of almost equal expertise and commitment to nation building, you will find it interesting the effort at unveiling the package of promises made in the cause of campaigns. Indeed, Your Excellency has made so many promises and I assure you that as politically alert as we are, Bauchi people are watching you steer the affairs of our state.

In few years to come, Bauchi state expects to witness unprecedented improvement in education, health, security, pipe-borne water supply, rural development and electrification, agriculture and roads to mention a few. And of course for you to get a good grade on your score-card in the end, Your Excellency must understand that you have a micro-economy to manage where an enabling environment for economic activities will be created with a view to consolidating the state`s Internally Generated Revenue (IGR).

It is thus only obvious that one of the ways to halt Bauchi state`s drift towards economic collapse resulting from years of reckless economic tendencies is diversifying its economy. Rather than rely on monthly financial grant from Abuja, Your Excellency can think of enhancing and exploring the state`s agricultural and mineral deposits potentials. Like many other northern states, Bauchi is blessed with mineral deposits as well as vast arable land that if properly utilized can provide food security and as well generate internal revenue enough to cater for the state's financial demands.

Bauchi state has over forty mineral raw materials including Gypsum, Granite, Iron-ore, Gemstone, Kaolin and Galena to mention a few. Sir, any of them if well tapped can turn around the state into an economic heaven. All that is needed is political will and policies to protect miners and create an enabling market for selling the tapped resources. The first step towards doing this is to churn out an efficient data base that can portray the tripod-stand of the mineral deposits so that the true potentials of the deposits can be ascertained. Your Excellency, whilst I am aware that federal government laws do not favour state governments as far as mineral deposits are concerned, I believe nothing is impossible with cooperation and understanding.

Meanwhile, at elementary level, agriculture is referred to as the cultivation of crops and rearing of animals for the use of man. Cultivation of crops and rearing of animals provide thousands of employment opportunities for both skilled and unskilled labour. From the farm work itself to agro-allied industrial activities and to manufacturing of chemicals and fertilizer, a lot of human resources are involved.

If Your Excellency is serious about creating employment opportunities show interest in agriculture by heavily investing so much time and resources in it. Government should establish farms and in a manner as to lead by example, Your Excellency, commissioners, permanent secretaries, state legislators and other top government functionaries should also establish your respective farms; then legislations and policies be made to make a ready market for farm produce. And in this regard, I recommend the resuscitation of the defunct Commodity Board.

Your Excellency, once Bauchi state government puts enough weight on mining of mineral deposits and agriculture, the state will obviously become a hub of economic prosperity. And naturally, infrastructures will spring up. But as it were, to make any meaningful achievements you must be patient, courageous and altruistic. And very importantly, you must also be steadfast as a leader; for it is only when you stand for something that you can achieve so many things.

Jarmajo is on Twitter: @mukhtarjarmajo

An afternoon with President Buhari

By Dele Momodu

Fellow Nigerians, let me confess that in over 30 years of writing no President has ever reacted directly or positively to my constant admonitions, lamentations or commendations. Rather, most of the time, their aides, cronies and acolytes used to fire darts and barbs at us from every direction. We were called unprintable names that our parents did not give us and by now we are so used to being abused and harassed by those who can never learn useful lessons from the past. You can thus fathom a guess as to how I must have felt when Femi Adesina’s call sneaked in on me like a thief in the night.

I had written an article titled “A Desperate Memo to President Buhari” in which I tried to let the President feel the pulse of the people, especially those who felt he was being too sluggish about running the affairs of state. This memo to the President came on the heels of an earlier intervention titled “In Search of Patience” which unfortunately failed to achieve its objective. My mission had been to persuade my fellow citizens about giving the President some time to settle in before they start complaining about the pace and tempo of governance. I soon realised that rather than the dust settling down matters actually got exacerbated. In the desperate memo, I then attempted to tell the President some home truth about the things he could do urgently and without much ado. I took that chance because of the fact that I knew him to be a voracious reader of news, especially if it pertained to him. The gamble certainly paid off.

The President and his key aides read the “Desperate memo” which had gone viral. A particular online newspaper chose to sensationalise and slant the story in a manner I never intended or envisaged. Their version was garnished with salt and pepper by exhuming an old picture of mine in which I had cried for my mentor, Chief Moshood Abiola, and it was now tilted and titled “Dele Momodu Weeps for President Buhari”. If the idea was to draw a wedge between me and the Presidency, it actually backfired and failed woefully to paint me as someone who has dumped President Buhari within weeks of attaining power. One influential man in the Presidential villa, Nura Rimi, actually saw the post and felt sufficiently alarmed that a key supporter like me should not be allowed to turn his back on the Presidency. He mentioned his fears to Special Adviser Media, Femi Adesina, a childhood friend and brother from our early days at Ife. They decided to intimate the President on the necessity to reach out to me immediately. The President gave his instant approval.

I was away from the country when I received Femi Adesina’s call. My initial reaction before answering was that he was going to complain and grumble like most of his predecessors who only called whenever they felt you had written an unsavoury piece about their principal. At the very best, they would engage you in meaningless rigmarole, or issue veiled threats, by accusing you of being paid by their enemies. But Femi was refreshingly different. After exchanging pleasantries, he said “Bob Dee, the President would want to have a one-on-one meeting with you after reading your latest article.” The message sounded too unusual to be true because I had always seen Nigerian Presidents as the most unreachable human beings on earth. I told Femi I would be more than happy to head back to Nigeria to meet a man who has restored hope and dignity to every Nigerian.

The only problem was how to find a slot to squeeze me into the President’s over-tight schedule. I waited for about a week without an appointment and then suddenly I got a text from State Protocol: “Good morning sir. A window for you to see Mr President on Wednesday 15th July between 14.45 and 15.00hrs in his office has been created. Kindly note accordingly… SCOP” A similar text was also forwarded to me from Femi. I was pleasantly surprised when I received a written notice of audience from Permanent Secretary, State House, Engineer Nebolisa O. Emodi. Subsequent follow-up calls were made to my Lagos office as reminders to me.

The level of professionalism and efficiency displayed was commendable. It was a radical departure from the past when I met a previous Nigerian President in London and was invited to meet him in Abuja. I came for the appointment at the scheduled time but was unable to see him for days. The Chief Security Officer at the time was not so friendly. He took me into his office and lectured me on all the no-go areas of discussion in the Presidential Villa, which rendered my visit totally useless.

The Aso Rock I returned to last Wednesday was virtually transfigured. All the security checks were professionally handled. The guys were strict but friendly about it. Some even joked about following me on social media. In a matter of minutes, I was welcomed into Femi Adesina’s office by Senior Special Assistant, Media and Information, Garba Shehu. It was a happy reunion for the three of us old friends and I felt very much at home. I told Femi I wanted to pay courtesy call on the State House correspondents before meeting the President. I always give priority to my colleagues no matter how junior and went round shaking hands with most of those on duty. I promised to address them after meeting the President.

The day was made extra-special by the presence of the iconic diplomat and former Secretary-General of The Commonwealth, Chief Emeka Anyaoku, whose appointment to see the President was just ahead of mine. A great fan of my column, he came into the waiting lounge and he spoke for a couple of minutes with Femi and I. He inspired me as usual with his oratorical skills. “Dele, I continue to read your column with relish” he said matter-of-factly!

Thereafter, I was soon invited to climb the stairs leading to the President’s office. Since there was no prior agenda sent about the topic of discussion, I had visualised the likely scenario and rehearsed accordingly. I also jotted down some salient points because I was determined to maximise the 15 minutes allotted to me without overstaying my welcome. For me, it was a rare honour and privilege to sit down all by myself with the President of Africa’s greatest nation. It was important to pour out the boisterous content of my soul in a jiffy.

As time ticked away while I waited, I engaged myself in an interior monologue, otherwise known as stream-of-consciousness in Literary Appreciation. Then came the appointed time and I was ushered into the President’s room. I was stunned to see the President already waiting for me by the door. Though we had met on two previous occasions, I didn’t quite know how this particular meeting was going to pan out because on those occasions he was still a co-contestant at first and an aspirant/candidate on the latter visit in London.

I’ve met several Presidents in and out of power but the aura is never the same. The Buhari I met at his holiday apartment in London about four months ago, after his speech at Chatham House, was not the Buhari I met and discussed with last Wednesday. The new Buhari has the power to do and undo. As the aphorism goes, he can turn a certified and certificated pauper into an instant billionaire with a mere stroke of the pen, and vice versa. More importantly, the destiny of nearly 200 million complex beings resides within his palms. Yet here was the powerful man himself welcoming and leading me to a chair very close to him.

President Buhari fired the first shot right from the second I walked through the door: “Let me tell the truth that I was forced to see you by your friends here…” Wow, he would rather give credit to his aides. That was uncommon in our clime. The President was not yet done on the issue because as soon as I sat down, he fired another salvo: “I don’t know if I should tell you this but I suspect Femi is working for you!” and we both exploded raucously. I’m loving this man more and more, I told myself. By then, he had inadvertently relaxed me totally and we were like two old buddies. I had been told endlessly about his supposed taciturnity; that you could sit with him for hours doing all the talking while the President would respond in only a few words. But to my biggest bewilderment and pleasant surprise, the President actually opened up to me and responded to my suggestions. In short we had a dialogue rather than the monologue I had programmed myself to expect in a worst case situation.

I was glad he had allowed two wonderful photographers, Bayo Omoboriowo and Sunday Aghaeze, to join us, as well as a cameraman from NTA. It would have been sad to tell the world the cordial nature of my meeting with the President without solid evidence. This is because he had asked everyone out after the photo-opportunities were comprehensively dealt with. I seized the opportunity to present a copy of my forthcoming book, PENDULUM: A Book of Prophesies, which is a compilation of some of my landmark essays in the last five years or thereabout. Not only did he show some excitement, he actually requested for my autograph: “Please, sign it for me so that people could see I got the original copy from you…” he said with that inimitable tinge of childlike innocence. I couldn’t believe this was the same over-demonised Buhari who had been superfluously described in lurid colours by political opponents. If he was play-acting before me, then he must be a damn-good-actor, I thought to myself coolly.

We went into our discussions proper after the general interlocutions. I told him why I wrote the “Desperate Memo” to him; Nigerians were getting restless and impatient; they expect an instant miracle; the momentum he gained during the election was nose-diving and affecting his super-brand; the opposition was already creeping in and trying to take advantage… and so on. The President said he was aware of people’s expectations but they should exercise some patience as they would realise his vision and mission as events he was directing begin to unfold. He sounded like a man who knows what most of us don’t know. He’s the man in the driver’s seat and only he can see the blind spots.

I told him it is important to us that he succeeds because our opponents don’t believe things can be done better. I reiterated my belief that he cannot hand over Nigeria to typical politicians to run because they will wreck the entire process. I’m certain his Party is going to witness another combustion soon when he begins to assemble his team because political leaders prefer their lackeys to competent professionals. In spite of Party supremacy, he should not allow them to dump some garbage at his doorstep. He must insist on nominations that meet his avowed standards.

I suggested he should involve Nigerian academics in governance like he did as Head of State when he appointed Tam David-West, Ibrahim Gambari and others as Ministers before President Ibrahim Babangida repeated the same style by appointing Wole Soyinka, Olikoye Ransome-Kuti, Bolaji Akinyemi, Tai Solarin, Sunday Olagunju, Sam Oyovbaire, and others in various capacities. I theorised that the relative success of INEC is attributable to the fact that Professor Jega brought in many Professors who did not have the propensity for accumulation of wealth.

I told the President that he should do everything possible to carry the youths along. I suggested he could move a few of his important public functions from campus to campus. I mentioned how American Presidential debates and major Presidential interactions are often held in a university community with students in attendance. I observed that this helps to inspire the youths in no small measure. Any government that has the youths behind it will ultimately succeed.

The aspect of my submission that gave the President amusement amidst the seriousness was when I spoke about the importance of searching for bright women to bring on board: “Sir, I think women are better managers of people and resources for several reasons…” I posited that a woman cannot marry two or three men simultaneously but a man can have four wives and ten concubines at a go and this would encourage corruption. I also elaborated further by stating that women are more afraid of going to prison than men. The President was filled with mirth and exploded in laughter whilst acknowledging the sense and sagacity of my words.

The President confided in me that his three biggest worries are insecurity, corruption and power. He spoke a bit about how he planned to address these issues. Finally, as he saw me off to the door, he spoke about his efforts at combating crime and terrorism and had kind words for the Chadians in particular. He felt proud about Chadian interventions on behalf of Nigeria. He would love to see such cooperation from other African countries.

On the whole, I had spent more than my allotted time of 15 minutes but I believe both of us concluded that we had a good and fruitful discourse. Before I departed, I promised the President my support and assured him that I would always alert him of sensitive developments needing his immediate attention through my articles and Column.

May God grant our President favour to do that which he fervently desires for Nigerians and Nigeria! God bless our nation.

Twitter: @DeleMomodu